  I think we’re past the initial phase now; crossed over. That rush of material that was just bursting from our organs to say, well it’s gone now. Only this remains. I look back over several entries from the start. They dealt with a few topics form our daily lives; women, cars and computers. Yeah, pretty much you could have summed it up into those three things and you would have the three of us pegged. The entries for everyday would be a reentry into that thought, and addition, deeper channel. And what am I left with now: the same thing that this kind of telling always leaves me with; a profound emptiness. I feel empty because what I really wanted was for my words to fall short of the pain and agony that I felt inside. Still I wanted them to be the most grand of all failed words. I will say this instead, the words didn’t tell the tale; it was the repetition of the words that really spoke. Looking back the resounding answer to the question is “Why are you not already through this phase of your life?
Why are you still asking the question?” And the words, well they are just as I expected, and less than I hoped. I think it has been mentioned before, but Roguen has exiled himself until this next year. He’s working on something of his own; seems very excited about it. People who know him wouldn’t think this all too odd, being excited and all about his work but take my word for it, this time it is. He’s excited and depressed, and one hand seems to be washing the other. He’s scheduled “reanimation” for this next year.
In his token phrase he claimed that he cannot fail. We are all tired here, with good reason as well, but the hunger will not stop. I’ve been asked on several occasions now this week if I sleep at all. Yes, I do sleep, and I sleep my fair share. It is also true however that the more work that I have, the more productive I am with it. I found this out during a few months of unemployment.
I could hardly raise myself from the couch, now you won’t find me sitting still. There is a piece of my mind that hoped I will crack under the pressure; hopes that I will reach the limit and break into two. Wouldn’t that be phenomenal? But the truth is that there is always much more to us than we expect. And that ladies and gentlemen… brings me back to the first point in this little entry, really the only point. There is more, there is much more, and while words may describe it, time always ring true. 
