  Is the moon in the third house and therefore causing strange, unexplainable events to play out in my life? Is someone tucked away in a dark basement casting hoo-doo spells to vex me at every turn? Perhaps getting this out there will counteract whatever the heck it is. I’ll explain: The conversation with my brother was cut short by an incoming call on his line and he left me with the promise to contact me later. That was Friday. Am I missing something or have I just been PUNKED!?!?
And if that wasn’t weird enough, JH bites the dust. Yes, for those of you who were rooting for success as I took my first unsure steps back onto the dance floor, I am sorry to report that I broke a leg, literally. But better that than my heart! Here’s the abbreviated version: During a recent visit to the city, he was apparently made uncomfortable by my frequent, irritating and ominous phone calls from my soon-to-be ex-husband. Now, he advised that I should take the calls. This was the only reason I accepted the calls in the first place.
Instincts told me that the sane thing to do while in the company of my new friend was to turn the phone off completely. Now, I’m torn. I don’t know whether to be hurt or mad or neither. Was I being inconsiderate, even while following JH's cues, to engage in several, sometimes volatile, conversations with my soon-to-be ex-husband? Is JH behaving like a spoiled child, giving advice that he doesn’t even support once it is played out? Call me crazy but I find that to be the lamest thing I have ever heard of.
I think there is something more to this, kinda like some joke is being played and everyone knows about it but me! Especially after he carries on about being so sensitive and real and down to earth. This is neither of those things. This is "snatch your heart out of your chest and crush it with my bear hands while you writhe around on the floor" crazy! PUNKED AGAIN ! Oh, and did I mention that he waited until he returned home to express these feelings to me via IM the next day?
What of that? I, for one, am the type to address things as they arise when the opportunity presents itself, not stew over them and expose my true feelings at a later date. Fuck it. Life goes on. (*SIGH*) As I told him, perhaps it is too soon for this. His response (via IM) was literally “Ok, Bye!” The sad thing is.
. .I was really (REALLY) feeling him. I’ve never been the type to take temporary dips into the shallow end of the relationship pool. For me it is always a head first dive in the deep. From the first hello, down I’d go, and then deeper and deeper with every soft spoken word, every crooked, playful smile, every good-bye kiss, every longing touch, every passionate thrust. .
. With him, I was already beginning to lose sight of the surface, so yes, perhaps it was time to come up for air. (*INHALE*) Most importantly, with the brevity of this encounter taken into consideration, I’ve discovered something new about myself. As this man turns and slams the door in my face, I am not left feeling empty or lessened in anyway. I am not wondering what I could have done or searching for imperfections within myself to solve the mystery of why I didn’t make the team. I am smart, damn near brilliant, with a heart the size of Texas and a killer smile.
His loss. I am not brimming with the tears of the rejected, the dejected. It just did not work out. Period. And for once in my life, I can accept that. Too bad though, we could have been really, REALLY good together! 
