  Another pair of nailclippers vanishes into the Ether. That's seven this year. Where do they go? Are they biodegradable? Do they dissolve after touching air? I don't understand why I keep losing them. After much thought I decided to approach the problem in the style of the great fictional detective Sherlock Holmes who said "Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. " so I have come to the conclusion that I have an infestation of Kleptomaniac Pixies with a penchant for chrome nailclippers. I am assuming they worship them as some kind of God totem thingy. It's either that or something to do with Worm holes in the space-time continuum, but I feel more at home with Sticky fingered fairy folk.
There is something deeply unsettling about cutting your toenails with a big pair of scissors and I don't want to do it anymore. Now, it is my intention to capture one of the pilfering little sprites (red handed no less! ) and become filthy rich and famous, or atleast reasonably well off and vaguely familiar. And, I'm bored now... Sleep beckons! 
