  im listening to heavy metal n0w.  really really LOUD!  I HATE YOU GARY!  i dont deserve this.
 i deserve so much better.  u better change.  u better do.  if not it marks the end of our relationship.  silly me,  why am i crying!  u DONT MEAN ANYTHING TO ME!  woke up at ten and i did nothing had fish for lunch then i prepared to go meet gary.  i got my dad to drive me to bukit batok.  actually i shouldnt have went today.  ( stop crying amanda!  look,  gary didn't even care.  he went to play soccer then got himself so stinky and wet.
 stupid me still bothered to make up and spray perfume and dress nicely.  juz screw me!  i hate myself!  i still have to fetch him and wait for him to change in the toilet for so long.  about 1/ 2 hr.  my make up nearly melted.  anyway i guess gary will never aqppreciate me.  i hate him.  why do u treat me so badly gary?
 anyway we ate ramen for dinner in some jap restaurant and i paid for it.  then he wanted to play pool so we travelled to bukit timah.  then he kept insulting me there.  i hate it.  then it was pretty ok.  then we went home.  then i told him to change his attitude that's when things went bad.  he kicked some red coloured car below my block and he wanted to beat me again.  i reminded him about the previous times and so he didn't.  then he send me up my house and he kicked and punch the lift.
 so much that dust went flying around.  he's mad.  then he walked me to the corridor and threw my neighbour's shoes out of the window.  he's crazy then he pulled out alot of plants,  bent some and even pulled out incense!  GOD,  IM A BUDDHIST OK!  im horrified and asked for forgiveness.  he's out of his mind then he threatened me again.
 why?  if i really do mean so much to u would u have given me all these fucked up attitude?  u r crazy gary this is the limit.  im so sorry,  i will give u one last chance and i mean it this time.  if i do not see a change in you in the oncoming month then let's juz end this 2yrs 7mths relationship.  no point torturing myself to make u happy anymore.  u seem to take it for granted.  things dont come easy gary,
 especially not from amanda.  do u know u r the only guy i've been serious in my whole life?  I DIDN'T EVEN CRY NOR CARED when i broke up with others.  love me truely treat me well pls.  anyway im in super bad mood now and the room seems to be freezing.  dont know if the reason is due to the weather or that im crying.  but i dont feel good.  this sucks.  big time 
