  really a million thanks to you for retrieving my blogs Kimmy!  thanks for kimmy's help,  frm blogger,  that i got back my blogs!  One thing is i'll have to delete the new blogs,  but its okie.
 I've copied evrything down!  TUESDAY,  AUGUST 03,  2004 this week's the last week oh,  last week on 7am shift.  gosh,
 dunno how i make it man.  sleep at 1 or 2am,  wake up at 0530 hrs,  i dunno how i make it thru really.  bascially mayb bcos i dun like to sleep bah,  feel enuf can liao.
 another is i'm more energize at night.  do most of my tinking at night.  i'm more like a worm in the morning.  so i yawnz everytime at work.  really gotta find a job soon ya,  tis job is taking hell lot of my time aka youth man.
 lost my enjoyment,  lost my freedom.  i tink i will have to write the poem again,  should be a song but i tink its the same. its still for him,  the Love of My Life Seasons will flow but nothing changes my love How rich my life has been its all bcos of you You'r the sunshine &
 all the warmth that I need The destiny &  purpose,  the moments &  all the memories Feelings have shown but why dun you acknowledge For our lifes,  we have missed due to misunderstandings You'r the meaning of my entire life The shelter &  the comfort,
 and most of all I know Well I Love You SUNDAY,  AUGUST 01,  2004 Wat he wrote in his blog -  Ain't Me -  Yet again,  i broke someone's heart I'm sorry,
 i don't mean to But it ain't me to go bumping into another relationship blindly In fact,  am quite tired of relationship in some way I've known your existence all the while But i just feel comfortable with you,  as a friend A friend that never give up on each other A relationship means a full stop to friendship And that,  i don't want I hope you understand the way i reacted today Forget what happen today And friends! We'll be!  I'm sure you make a great pal wat he says really broke my heart.
 not as bcos he wanted us to be frens,  but bcos i feel his pain.  as i've said,  i din want things to turn out tis way,  i've nv anticipated a relationship with him.  I juz wanna be there for him,
 as a fren.  It doesn't matter if we'r together or not.  At my age,  I've already understand that frenship lasts longer than love.  PS :  I love you from my heart.
 Over the years,  you might have changed,  but not my heart.  You can't stop me from loving you cos its a feeling i can't control either.  I wish to be a fren of yours,  juz wanna be by your side,
 share your swarrows and watever you wanna share wif me.  You can leave your happiness to the person you love,  it doesn't matter to me,  cos wats more impt is tat you r happy.  SUNDAY,  AUGUST 01,
 2004 I've confess TODAY,  i confess my love to the love of my life.  and the outcome is tat he wanna treat me as a fren.  he real nice,  n i din love the wrong guy.  Our conversation :
 Me :  if say he is you,  n there's a gal like me.  n if u know it,  wat will u do?  He :
 u mean if i'm the person ah Me :  ya He :  what will i do?  depends if i like the gal as a fren or what loh. i mean if i like her as a galfren.  of course i'll go after Me :
 okie He :  the guy know nuts at this ah?  Me :  huh know wat?  He :  i mean u say that guy lah.
 he knows nothing abt u like him Me :  i tink so He :  hmm.  ask u sumthing Me :  yeah He :  Is that "
He"  =  " Me"  correct me if i'm wrong,  just curious Me :
 y r u so curious abt it?  He :  no lah.  u take me as example mah so i ask loh Me :  okie He :  so.
 Me :  okie,  ermmm yes it is sorry He :  sorry?  for what Me :  ermmm dunno,
 juz wanna say He :  Somehow.  i can feel it.  its not that i dunno Me :  okie.  He :
 For now,  i dun wanan be or even think abt relationship Me :  i ermmm,  its okie u know i nv think abt it never He :  and i want you as a fren,  a fren to stay forever,
 couples can't be frens.  Me :  yeah i know He :  and we're better off as frens aint it Me :  i agree geeee its so embrassing He :  nah,
 dun worry abt it,  let's sayy all it out anf forget abt tonite He :  it's really great to have u as a fren,  lets Con't with this frenship,  SHall we?  Me :
 yeah of cos i'm glad to hear tat Me :  i nv tout of it u know He :  tot of what Me :  ermmm of having a relationship wif ya He :  Oh,  ok ,
 anyway like i said we just sprut things out loh, so the next time we dun have to feel paisay when we see each other Me :  yeah true haha He :  no worries ah.  we're all grown up hehe Me :  hhhahah,
 thanx for tat tats wat i have for the day,  so at the end of it,  i still get nothing huh.  but he's nice dun he?  i'm sad though,  but i can't cry and i dunno y.
 i guess i already knew he will say tis bah.  but anyway,  though we r still frens,  no matter wat,  the fact is not changed yet.  he is still The Love of My Life.
 THURSDAY,  JULY 29,  2004 so tiredz.  i'm seriously very tired.  met my fren in the evening for some hot chocolate ( starbucks ones r quite yummy,
 but still i prefer those in oz)  she says i look so shag compared to 2 days ago!  my work's really draining me out.  to tink of it,  although i might hav good prospect here,  but i might not hav the life to enjoy the fruits i've planted.
 work so hard,  but mayb till the end of the day,  i'll get nothing!  at most,  i'll be a manager or director( mayb)
 but definitely wifout a happy family.  where got time?  i dun wanna die as an old maid here!  i ought to get outta here.  if not,  i'll lose everything tats most impt in life.
 kinship,  frenship,  love &  freedom.  i dunno if it's to u,  but it is very impt to me.
 i believe tat everyone of us come to tis world to feel the meanings of these relationships.  if we not experience it,  we wouldn't be complete.  out of the 4 relationships,  my job scope lengthen the distance between 3 of them.  tats so serious!
 better start looking out for other jobs.  in tis life till nw,  i hav all but you the love of my life mayb its fated,  tat i'll not be treated the love of my life for all the times has past for all the things i've done is for you the love of my life you hav not acknowledge you did not denied but you have not accept it the love of my life till time will past my love will last it will still be for you the love of my life WEDNESDAY,  JULY 28,  2004 Not too good.
 Still i can't retrive my previous blog,  and i can't rem the poems i've wrote.  not even the lastest ones.  My heart is feeling sad.  Everthing seems not rite again.  Well,
 mayb its life tat i'm going thru arn't i?  ups n downs.  I started to write blog with a really sad heart.  got happy a few days ago!  till the blogs were accidentally deleted.  At work,
 i've made some decision to have other plans until i got my review today.  It turns out tat they r looking very good on me,  n tat i might hav the chance to enhance my career?  sounds not too bad huh,  but on 2nd touts,  i'll hav to still lead on to tis kinna life.
 no life!  Probably i should do like wat Qi Qi said,  move on aft the enhance,  it will leave better tracks on my profile.  Haiz,  juz dunno wat am i gonna do.
 my life's a mess.  Yeah,  I'm still tinking of u today.  I've tout of the times we had together it may be nothing to you but it brings me smiles at the times of the day I was sitting infront of my work desk busy typing into the computer when i tout of you again today The moments we had together the joy,  the fun and the teasing words adds life to my boring hours I'll pray n wish for you on every single night that may happiness be with you thruout your life For my love for you will always be there till the end of time for you I'll care TUESDAY,  JULY 27,
 2004 I'm very sad.  I accidentally deleted my blogs!  How stupid!  Juz one click,  and everything's gone.  I can't retrieve back n gone r my memories.
 sobz sobz.
